by Calista Sherwood

I started college with the expectation to learn — to learn about people, about music, about psychology, and about the Bible — but mostly about who God was and who He created me to be. I did not realize at that time just how incredible God was, and how insignificant I was. Freshman year was developmental, both in regards to my own growth and the growth of friendships across campus. God continued to reveal aspects of Himself to me through those relationships I developed — aspects like His patience, His compassion, and His grace. For whatever reason, though, I was still waiting to find “my” calling and “my” purpose in all of it.

My sophomore year was instrumental in learning just how little I needed to become before I saw the awesomeness of God. I had a serious struggle with my digestive system that year — it stopped working properly, and I lost a lot of weight and began to be constantly fatigued. The strain that this physical problem had on the rest of my life was indescribable. I not only felt exhausted and in pain physically, but also emotionally, mentally, and spiritually as well. Every day was an uphill battle to simply make it back to my bed each night, but through each day, I saw more glimpses of God. I saw Him as my comfort, as my advocate, as my shelter, as my stronghold. But I fought a sinful attitude on a daily basis. I had an attitude of entitlement toward God and a heart that still believed I deserved to have all the comforts of life handed to me on a platter. I was supposed to be doing great things for God, and here I was struggling just to eat a full meal and pay attention in classes! I became utterly weak so that I could finally see Christ as completely strong and the fulfillment of everything. My personal desires and needs were minimal compared to the greatness of God, and when I looked at the cross, I realized just how incredible it was that even though I am weak and a miserable sinner, God still humbly fought and endured so that I could be called His own. It was at that point I realized the calling and purpose I had expected to find as a social worker or as a worship leader or as a teacher were just ways that God could use me in His ultimate purpose of glorifying Himself and making Himself known to the people He created. What I do as a career in the rest of my life is meaningless — who I glorify and who I try to make known is the only purpose I need.

Over the summer I learned what was wrong with my digestive system and finally was able to heal from the damage done internally. I had to change a lot of my personal eating habits and learn how to cook my own food (and still make it taste good!), but my body is gradually healing. This year my lessons have been much more specific to daily living. God desires our everything, even when we feel that our everything is very little. He desires that we rest in Him even when our schedule seems to leave no room to rest. He desires that we pursue Him over anything else, that we place our identity and our source of joy, life, energy, and hope in Him. No amount of life can come from our own working; it is only through keeping ourselves focused on the cross of Christ that we can find the energy and hope to keep going — this is true whether we are finding ourselves in plenty or in want. One way that I have been abundantly blessed by God in His grace is through my relationship with my soon-to-be husband, Jared. He has continually pointed me toward Christ in the last three years, especially during the season of want I experienced. Jared and I are getting married in the summer, and I cannot express the joy and blessing that God has given me through our relationship. I am now in a season of plenty, and I am so thankful — only by looking to the cross of Christ can I say that I am content in any and every circumstance (Philippians 4:11-20).

E-mail: calista_j_sherwood@cornerstone.edu